Somedays I feel like I am super woman. I feel empowered, inspired, energised, motivated, focused and on point. Full of life purpose, love for humanity, vigor and fire in my belly.
Today was not one of those days.
Despite having an early night after a ‘clean’ vegan organic dinner with absolute zero stimulants like alcohol or chocolate last night when I arose this morning my whole body was aching and I felt like a train wreck. I awoke to my darling little 17 month old daughter literally slapping my face and yelling at me “Mama, up” over and over again. I can honestly say usually I would find this wake up call so delightful, this morning however all I wanted to do was roll over and go back to bed in peace without any responsibility. And so my morning practice did not happen (again!) and I reluctantly got out of bed to start the day in a somewhat gloomy, pessimistic ‘Eeyore’ manner. (OK lets be honest, I was foul in every sense of the word and felt exactly like that old grey depressed donkey).
Shamefully I could not shake myself out of the mood I was in. My mind was trying to compartmentalise it into so many other things – to attempt to find something, or someone, I could blame this uncomfortable state of being on (hormones, lack of sleep, dehydration, psychic attack) but I knew this would be a ‘seek and destroy’ mission and the blame game inevitably is a waste of time.
Then my mind jumped in again ‘lets have a pity party’ it said to me conjuring up 101 things I could potentially use in this moment to add fuel to the fire and go deeper in my own self wallowing. Boy oh boy did I think up some good stories too; past hurts, current stresses, limiting self beliefs – I was all fired up and ready to go with lots of ammunition that would certainly take me further down the rabbit hole of gloom and doom. Yet once again some wisdom kicked in from my subconscious that prevented me from jumping to the awaiting stories and ripe wounds I had ready and waiting and reminded me that I was trying to alleviate this unwanted feeling not go deeper into it.
So I sat with it, and made breakfast, and sat with it, and answered emails, and sat with it, and played with my daughter (who was actually happy to be on her own and leave me in peace to sort myself out. Kids, they just know!) and sat with it. Hours went on like this and here I still was wallowing and feeling deluded, confused and heavy no matter what I did.
Now I know myself pretty well and I also know I have pulled myself out of waaayyyyy bigger dark holes then this one before successfully without falsity or spiritual bypassing. Yet here I was so frustrated that this ‘thing’, this dark cloud was somehow bigger then me, stronger then me, controlling me. It was winning and I was losing. And I could not for the life of me out my finger on what was making me so grumpy.
Then it all clicked (cue lightbulb audio and visual).
I was choosing to be in this state of being.
I was so busy trying to either get out of it, make sense of it, learn from it or avoid it that I forgot a very simple truth.
You are only ever one choice away from changing your life.
That was it. Really, it was that darn simple! I made a choice to be in a different space and guess what – everything shifted. The irony in it’s simplicity was not lost on me, always the curious seeking, insatiable problem solving, deep diving mental nut case that I am. But seriously folks in one split second my whole energy and outlook changed and I felt a undeniable shift inside my body (and the body never lies)
I went from being Eeyore to Winnie the Pooh and it was effortless. Effortless. Just a choice, that’s all.
And so as I sit here now sharing with you this little (somewhat embarrassing) story I reflect on my own life and how those little changes have lead to massive impact. And how some of the hardest and most challenging things I have gone through have stopped with a quick ‘gear change’, a change in choice. I have to remind myself that it is not always required to go digging deep through the weeds and wounds for healing and resolution. Sometimes, and I mean only sometimes, it can all possibly shift with a different choice. This mundane run of the mill day in my life has served me this powerful message (yet again) and I share it now with you. If you want a better life, make a better choice!
Is there a choice in your life that you need to make differently? If you could choose whatever you wanted what would that look like for you? Have you felt the impact of a simple choice having huge repercussions in your life?
Remember the power of choice my friends, it may just be, as it was for me today, all you need to do.