“I am so over it” She huffed, her breath sighing down the phone
“Over what exactly?” I asked
“Over feeling unworthy, uncreative, stuck, disconnected from my body and alone. I mean I am 48 years old, where is he?”
This is Jan. We met a few years ago and recently connected again when she reached out to me. When I saw her name pop up in my inbox I was thrilled to reconnect again. When I read her email however, it left me feeling deflated. Why is this woman who is in the prime of her life, who has so much to give the world, who is funny, honest, caring and incredibly smart feeling so unworthy? Why? I jumped on phone and we had a chat and arranged to meet.
Jan is 48 years old and had just quit her job. She is single, lives alone and, in her words, ‘got to a point where I was thinking what the hell am I doing?”
I asked her what she wanted. The list was long. Financial freedom, a relationship (and great sex to match), lose weight, tone up, more time to read, to write, to cook, to travel. And so it went on. Yet even as she mentioned this carefully curated list of ‘wants’ something felt amiss with me listening to her (intuitive insight). So I paused, took a breath, looked into her eyes and asked her again, “What do you really want Jan”. She looked at me and I saw the breaking of the dam. “I just want to feel loved” she said as the tears started to fall.
Boom. There we have it; an entry point. Even though it was a very vulnerable and raw moment for Jan I knew she was in the right place. When we feel “stuck” it can be tricky and painful to navigate. Yet this space is actually a definitive point in time where we make that solid (and transformative) decision to change our lives. I asked Jan some more questions and I knew immediately what her main area for healing was, she had become completely disconnected from the source of all her own strength and power. She had become disconnected from her body.
I could clearly see Jan was carrying too much weight on her body, her skin lacked lustre and glow and something in her eyes told me she was ‘wearing’ her pain and suffering. I knew I could have sat with Jan and talked through her problems, planned some new goals and make an action plan going forward. But I also knew that this would really, essentially, only make her feel better superficially for a short period of time because it was looking at her situation only from an intellectual point of view. And she certainly did not need to spend any more time inside her head right now.
You see, most of us live from the neck up, spending too much time in our heads worrying, pushing ourselves, getting overwhelmed & stressed & always feeling exhausted.
Beyond the confined limits of our obsessive thinking, worrying, stressing and overworked minds are golden moments of rest, delicious moments where we just are, where we learn how to be.
Einstein has said that problems are not solved in the same states of consciousness in which they were created. In other words, we need to go beyond the limitations of our minds to connect with and be immersed in a current that is bigger, wilder and wiser then us.
So knowing this to be true in my own personal experiences I suggested to Jan she unroll a yoga mat and we sit down and start talking to the body and through movement and awareness start listening to her heart.
She obliged and we got down to business. We didn’t follow a linear traditional sense of yoga where I put her in certain shapes, I just encouraged her to move anyway that felt good inside her body. I spoke to her about things she was experiencing in her life as she moved her body on the mat. She cried, sweated and swore (a lot of ‘f’ bombs were being dropped) and yet she stuck to the movement of her own free will.
When we are conversing with our bodies in a mindful way it allows for our hearts to open. This is where we access the true and emotional intelligence that is already built within us.
I continued to hold space for Jan as she rolled around, opened up her hips, stretched her hamstrings, rolled out her neck and flowed back and forth on the mat. She came to a place where she was more open and vulnerable enough to access the wisdom of her heart because she had moved her body, stretched open her fascia (the connective tissue that stores EVERYTHING) opened some inner portals and shifted the stagnated energy. By doing this she allowed herself to nestle into her God-given temple; HER BODY! All the questions that had been racing around inside her head for weeks, possibly months on end were all answered in an instant. The only thing that Jan had to do was drop all the stories get outside of her head and create a space where she can connect to that intimate wisdom within her. And so she did. And within that space she had a huge revelation and she made some life changing decisions that have affected her in the most positive and uplifting way.
If you desire to feel more freedom, more happiness, more connection and love your life in a truly embodied and empowered state, this weekend is for you.
Having an incredibly satisfying life has not so much to do with outer circumstances as it does with aligning ourselves with the raw truth of who we are.
You don’t have to be perfect, to improve or modify yourself. Life already is your fiercest teacher. Only your willingness to be here is required to answer the call of your hearts yearning, the deep pull to go within and be all that you are.
The answers lie within. Every sage, guru, teacher and Wiseman (or woman!) from the beginning of time teaches us this sacred lesson. But what does it really mean? What does it mean to live an embodied life?
My humble suggestion?
Spend time in your body today, open it, restore it, nurture it, love it and then, most importantly, listen to it, you may be very surprised at what it has to say.