This post and vlogs were done over 2 years ago now and have been sitting on my computer gathering tech dust.
When I first recored them I didn’t think I was ever going to publish them, (why would anyone want to see this??) and so I didn’t. They were recorded at a very vulnerable time and well, quite honestly, I thought they were pretty damn shitty. Plus I was only doing them for me personally anyway so not for public viewing. However I stumbled across them as I was cleaning out some old files and as I re-watched them I actually received some powerful reminders that are relevant to me right now. Last night I dreamt that these “shitty raw vlogs” needed to be shared. My ego self is trying to prevent this from happening as they are imperfect, raw and open “how could I possibly share this nonsense” my inner self critic is saying…. BUT to hell with that.
So here they are….from the deep ‘not good enough’ archives I give you….
Bare in Gili Air.
Tropical Island in Indonesia with only my computer, my journal, a bottle of water and the bikini’s and sarong and top I was wearing. Nothing else.
No itinerary, no accommodation booked, no plans, no companions, no prior knowledge of this island, no clue.
A purely spontaneous move on my behalf stemming from a complete breakdown moment I experienced and the deep desire to simply escape from my life for a few days (which we all know is impossible but you know that feeling right?!?)
I found myself exhausted, depressed, uninspired, overworked and angry for no reason. When I woke up in tears one morning at the thought of getting through another day I knew I had to do something, anything, drastic and pronto. Living in Bali I am fortunate to be a boat ride away from some gorgeous tropical islands so that day I cancelled my work commitments (something I never do) and jumped on a boat with no bags packed and headed off to an unknown destination for a complete solo rejuvenation mission.
My desire – to connect with nature, rest, get my head clear again and reconnect to that inner most part of myself which had become flat and dull and let the universe guide me once again into health and happiness. I just wanted to be completely open for whatever the universe had in store for me over the next couple of days without any agenda except to find myself again and reflect and integrate past lessons learnt.
Out of that solo time on the beach came these vlogs. They are unedited and completely raw. I didn’t really know what to talk about or have a clear goal in mind for doing them but I got clear guidance that I had to sit in front of my computer and record. So here is the Bare in Gili Air series…
Bare in Gili Air – Introduction
Bare in Gili Air – Lesson 1
Bare in Gili Air – Lesson 2 Universe Speaks
Bare in Gili Air – Lesson 3 Fasting
Bare in Gili Air – Lesson 4 Breath
Bare in Gili Air – Lesson 5 Self Love
I left the island after a couple of days on my own feeling light, refreshed, re-connected and like myself once again. Rejuvenation mission successful and complete.
I made a solemn promise to myself that I will never let myself get that run down again AND will gift myself a couple of days on a solo self love mission every year.
Anyway I hope you got something out of my meanderings. I would love to hear if you’ve ever had a solo “get my life back in order” mission and what you learnt.